The Plantain
latest

United States Hastily Builds Wall to Keep Trump In Mexico

The U.S. government has taken advantage of Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump's unexpected trip to Mexico by hastily constructing a wall along the U.S./Mexican border in order to keep the  billionaire from returning to the United States. 

Sources report that the development has taken Trump and his campaign by surprise and that Trump has been trying to gain reentry into the United States for several hours, a task that has proven especially difficult because the United States is currently pretending not to be home. 

"We turned off all the lights and are just sort of ignoring him and hoping he goes away," said alleged Muslim-Socialist President Barack Obama.  "Best case scenario is he tires himself out and decides he has to just stay in Mexico. At that point, he is Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto's problem. 

"Aw, come on! We don't want him here!" said a flabbergasted President Nieto whom described Mr. Trump a humorless narcissist before noting that the Republican nominee mistook him for a janitor upon meeting. "This is the problem with the United States. They don't send their best people to Mexico," he added.

In an exclusive interview, Donald Trump told the Plantain that he believes President Obama's trick was nasty, as well as foolish because he will be able to get back into the country simply by getting a ladder and just climbing over the wall and into the country. "Obama isn't a smart guy," commented Trump glibly and without irony: "I got a ladder, so what good is his wall?"