The Plantain

Area Man Dies in Same 836 Traffic Jam He Was Born In

Tragedy this week as sixty-five year old Elian Gomez passed away in his 1950 Chevy Bel Air on the 836, a mere two miles away from the exact spot where he was both conceived and born.

Elian’s parents started driving home in 1952 when they became stuck in traffic. After several hours of gridlock, the two conceived Elian in the back seat of the car Elian would later die in. Nine months later, and several feet further on the 836, Elian was born.

Elian would tell friends stories about his difficult childhood home schooled in the back of his parents' car, dreaming of the storied house his mother said was waiting for them once traffic cleared up a bit. Elian’s parents would not see that house again, as both perished when Elian was in his thirties and still about 6 miles away from their final destination, leaving him the responsibility of driver.

Those close to him recall a kind, but frustrated man who wished to see the world outside of the constant honking and slow inching forward. He leaves behind nothing except his Bel Air, which has been impounded for blocking traffic.

by Daniel Jimenez

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Bobby D. Foster Miami is a native who writes silly things. His book, The Miami Creation Myth, will be published in 2019. Check out more of his absurdism at
Miami, FL Website