The Plantain

Miami Heat Trade Chris Bosh's Blood Clot to Pistons

Miami Heat President and personnel maestro Pat Riley announced today that the team has reached a preliminary agreement with the Detroit Pistons to trade Chris Bosh's blood clot to the Motor City for a 2017 second round draft pick and ten-million dollars.

"The Clot has been a big part of Chris's game the past couple of years," said Mr. Riley, "And while we respect its tenacity, it just does not fit in with our plans for the future."

Detroit Piston's Head Coach Stan Van Gundy praised the move. "Anytime you have the opportunity to get a piece of an 11-time NBA All-Star Power Forward you do it. Of course, the Clot's contribution will be mainly in the locker room, but we think it will help motivate our young players and rekindle the tough blood-and-guts physicality of the Pistons glory years."

When asked to comment on the trade, Chris Bosh said that he wished his Clot success, noting that the Pistons are a great young team and that Detroit is still a better place to play ball than Cleveland.