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Kavanaugh Guarantees He Will Be Impartial Toward Libtards That Tried To Ruin His Life

In an op-ed published in the Wall Street Journal, Brett Kavanaugh attempted to walk back aspects of his emotional Senate testimony and promised that, if confirmed to the Supreme Court, he would be impartial toward all who come before the Supreme Court, "even those manipulative libtards that tried to ruin my life."

In the article, which was frankly a little TL:DR for our purposes, Judge Kavanaugh said that he was taken aback by the accusations that he sexually assaulted a bunch of girls when he was "a fucking teenager for Christ sake", which caused him to become emotional and erratic. The jurist said despite his demeanor before Congress, he was committed to "not exacting several decades of revenge against the Democratic party cucks that tried to ruin his life by gleefully ruling against every ideology their party holds dear."

At the time of this writing, it is widely believed that Judge Kavanaugh will be confirmed by the Senate and appointed to the Supreme Court for the rest of his life. When asked how he plans to celebrate reaching the pinnacle of the legal profession, Kavanaugh said he would probably just go out with friends for a few drinks to try to unwind after a stressful confirmation process. "I'm going to get pretty fucked up," the 53-year-old jurist added.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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