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Bus Lodged in Building Rented As Luxury Apartment. Only $3300/month.

City engineers we're baffled on how to remove a bus that had crashed into The Omega Fashion Store this week, until developers saw an opportunity: leave it be and rent it to millennials for $3300/month.

"Because removing the bus may damage the structural integrity of the building, it needs to remain. So, as with all things in Miami, why not convert it into luxury housing?" said developer Sam Mas Mas-Mas. The bus, to be renamed Verdant Towers, will rent each seat for $3300 a month plus utilities, with the back-row (which everyone knows is the penthouse of the bus except when its used for racist reasons) available for $4800. Mr. Mas Mas-Mas told the Plantain that he was excited that his innovative design concept ensured “this traffic accident would not go to waste. "People in Miami need a place to live that’s different from your run of the mill condos. This crashed bus could transform the neighborhood and bring in a...better class...of people to patronize local businesses."

"This is great for local businesses," said Mr. Mas Mas-Mas, who is in talks to develop an Asian fusion restaurant for the neighborhood that cleverly inserts the word "Phuc" into its name like no one has ever thought of that before in a nearby overturned van.

by Daniel Jimenez

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Bobby D. Foster Miami is a native who writes silly things. His book, The Miami Creation Myth, will be published in 2019. Check out more of his absurdism at https://www.facebook.com/MiamiCreationMyth.
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