The Plantain has learned that when Jeremy Covet entered his car Wednesday morning it still smelled like the giant brown paper-bag overflowing with the French fries he purchased from 5 Guys three days ago.
“The lingering smell is kind of gross,” admitted Mr. Covet, who we also can report has really let himself go recently. “But it also sort of still smells really good and makes me want another couple of burgers if I’m going to be honest,” he added.
At a news conference outside of the Chipotle where he was having lunch, the chubby University of Miami graduate student said that the smell of his car was not entirely his fault, explaining that he only picked up burgers because his girlfriend is on a juice cleanse and can’t eat with him.
When asked for comment, Mr. Covet’s longtime girlfriend said that she thinks the car smells disgusting and needs to be aired out some more before going on about the juice cleanse for 20 minutes. “It’s absolutely life changing,” she said as she watched Jeremy use his fingers to scoop guacamole into his mouth and thought to herself that the two of them had very different values and maybe her sister was right all along.