Cocaine Cowboys To Be Adapted Into Kids Animated Series

The Plantain has confirmed that Disney's Animated Studio has purchased the rights to adapt the 2006 documentary "Cocaine Cowboys" into an animated television show. The show will reportedly be geared at 5-10 year old children and feature such educational lessons as how to convert units of measurements into the metric system and the importance of not being a fucking snitch.

Cocaine Cowboys tells the bloody backstory of Miami's 1980's cocaine trade. The seminal Miami movie was created by local filmmaker Billy Corben and his partner, a fictitious individual created for tax purposes supposedly named "Alfred Spellman."

"They say LA is where you go when you want to be somebody, New York is where you go when you are somebody, and Miami is where you go when you want to be somebody else," said Mr. Corben without prompt.

The animated series, set to debut in 2019, will focus on real-life Cocaine Cowboy Mickey Monday, portrayed by Mickey Mouse, as he navigates the animated world of 1980's Miami from his club house at the Mutiny Club. They Might Be Giants has signed on to write the theme song.

When asked to respond to critics that the violent subject matter of his documentary is inappropriate fodder for a children's television show, the filmmaker and star of the 1993 Alan Thicke vehicle "Stepmonster" informed the Plantain that LA is where you go when you want to be somebody, New York is where you go when you are somebody, and Miami is where you go when you want to be somebody else before throwing half an orange at the head of a passing Kristen Rosen-Gonzales.