The Plantain
latest

Doral Developer Markets "Future Beach Front Property"

A real estate boom is taking place in Doral, as developers rush to snatch up the properties that scientist predict will one day become valuable beach front property when the effects of man made climate change finally become irreversible.

Many developers have started pre-construction on luxury condos and nightclubs that, with delays, will open just in time for sea levels to rise far enough to create gorgeous waterfront views.

The reaction to the proposed "Doral-By-The-Sea" has been mixed, with those able to purchase the soon-to-be waterfront land very happy at potential profits, while those who expect to lose their homes to flooding generally less optimistic.

“So we're just going to accept this? We’re not going to do anything about it?”, said local rollerblade enthusiast and South Miami resident Gerald Hernandez after being informed his entire block will probably be underwater. “I’ll lose my home and my second favorite Flannigans! We gotta stop this! Is there, like, a petition I could sign? I could carpool, that’ll fix it. Right? Oh who am I kidding...”

by Daniel Jimenez