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"Game of Charlize Therons" Premiers Tonight!

Charlize Theron's new dating show "Game of Charlize Therons" premiers tonight on Bravo at 9:00PM followed by a special "Watch What Happens Live" featuring the actress politely ignoring questions from Andy Cohen about the size of Sean Penn's penis.

In the show Charlize Theron will play herself looking for love among a pool of men who are in no way emotionally equipped to date someone like Charlize Theron. The twist is as contestants are eliminated the actress will actually kill them in increasingly violent ways.

"People have been watching Charlize Theron kill people on screen for years. I think they will enjoy seeing her do it in real life too," said executive producer Farooq Tampona, who whispered that the actress is "sort of a Joffrey."

"What did you say about me?" screamed the South African actress in an American accent for some reason.

"Oh god, tell my wife I love her...," said Mr. Tampona as an arrow pierced his stomach.

As I turned around I saw the actress holding a crossbow. She was terrifying and beautiful. Like Galadriel.

"Run!" she said, giving me a head start before taking chase.

Game of Charlize Therons premiers tonight at 9:00 PM on Bravo.
You can also see Charlize Theron in Third-Eye Blind lead singer Stephen Jenkin's list of lifetime regrets.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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