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Hillary Clinton Reportedly Contemplating 2020 Presidential Loss

According to a former adviser, Hillary Clinton is preparing for another unsuccessful presidential campaign in 2020.

"Hillary is a born campaigner and loves speaking to supporters," wrote Mark Penn in an Op-Ed about Mrs. Clinton's chances. "The former Secretary of State said she is looking forward to spending another few years among crowds of people nervously supporting her because she is the only Democrat who could actually win this time, for real, but this time, for real."

"It's time for that ultimate glass ceiling to break, once and for all!" said Mrs. Clinton over and over testing out various inflections for effect as she stared in a mirror.

"Don't you think you should give Elizabeth Warren a chance?" she asked herself in a high pitched voice pretending to be a reporter before answering: "Elizabeth Warren is my friend, but you have to ask yourself which one of us will be ready on day one? I think everyone knows that I am ready, and there is no better proof than the fact that I have been trying to be president for the last 15 years. That has to count for something, right?"

Clinton's 2020 presidential desires has reportedly angered many on the political left, with most reacting to the news by just sighing to themselves and muttering "is she for real?"

"Is she for real?" sighed 24-year-old Miamian Jennifer Sanchez who said she would probably vote for Clinton if she survived a primary but like only if the 826 was super empty that day. "I just hope she doesn't run because I don't think she has a chance."

When asked to respond to criticisms that she had no shot at being President, she laughed and said "You know, they said that about Donald Trump too. You just can't count out a bad candidate these days."

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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