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You'll Never Believe Who Bought a Boat at the Boat Show!

JOSH'S DAD BOUGHT A BOAT

I’m sitting in a tiny Ecuadorian restaurant in Downtown Miami, the kind that has really small water cups and a pitcher of water on the table that the waiters use to refill your glass even though the pitcher is sitting right on the table. Josh invited me to meet him so that he could tell me “some big news”. He’s been sitting across from me with a big grin the whole time. I hate him. He takes a sip from his water and says: “My dad bought a boat."

"That's your news?" I asked. "What kind?"

Josh wasn’t exactly sure what kind of boat it was, “but it’s a big one. One of those boats that have the little room inside where you can put a bed and stuff, to fuck." He said "it also goes really fast and it’s got a deck that’s big enough for tons of girls and several pool chairs for the girls to lie down on.”

I asked Josh where he was going to find all of these girls to sit on his pool chairs and fuck in his port room. "Girls flock to guys with boats!" he said. I hate him, but he's probably right.

When pressed, Josh admitted that his dad bought the boat for his fishing trips, but swears that we will be able to wash off the fish smell before we invite any of the girls aboard. "We'll have to wash the fish smell off when we get back to the dock too, if you know what I mean," said Josh. I did. I told him he would have all the fish he needs on the deck of his boat, but he didn't get the reference so he changed the subject by telling me his dad was probably also going to put a little fridge in the boat that we could keep beer in.

My initial thought was that this a waste of time, and would just be the whole cabin thing all over again, but Josh swore things will be different. “The cabin thing was just bad timing.” Josh said, “My folks had it rented out, then because of the divorce, they decided it would be easier to sell it.”

He went on to say that now that he’s done with classes his dad is going to let him get his boating license and that he will probably be able to use the boat “whenever.” Josh invited me to go out to Elliot Key next weekend so "we can lay anchor and then lay pipe.” He just has to make sure it's okay with his dad. “Invite any of the guys," he added, "except for Greg.”

As I get the last words down, the waiter brings the check. Josh gives a sheepish grin. “Hey, you don’t mind getting that do you?”

By Marcos Garcia