The Plantain
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Local Man to Start Diet on Monday

After several months of vocally thinking of getting “back into shape” local man Javier Soto-Smith announced that starting Monday he is going to begin eating right and working out every day.

The 29-year-old is excited for the lifestyle change and has already purchased a new Apple Watch to track his steps and watched several documentaries on Netflix about the food industry and the benefits of clean eating.

“Oh that’s just wonderful. You are an inspiration to us all” is what Javi would have liked to hear when he announced his upcoming lifestyle change to his coworkers, who had a much more muted response:

“Great. Hey, do you know when you’ll have the markup of the draft to me?” asked his boss Lidia Balana of the announcement. Javi promised to have the report to her by the afternoon and then pivoted to explain to his disinterested supervisor that starting Monday he will start eating clean and will also run a few miles every morning before work. “So can you have it to me by 3:00?” asked Lidia, who didn’t really care about Javi’s workout plans and, in any event, had her own eventual plans to get into shape she was thinking about focusing on.

 “I think I may also do a cycle or two of P90X and join a cross-fit gym,” said Javi to the clerk at 5-Guys later that night after ordering a cheeseburger and a large fry (which is enough for 4 people) for dinner. “Starting Monday things are definitely going to be very different.”