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Lululimonada Yoga Studio Offers Chilly Yoga For Hot Women Who Don’t Want to Sweat

Now that athleisure is the new black, Miami fashionistas eager to stay on-trend have found a place to stay hot and cool at the same time. Lululimonada, the brainchild of local hottie Limonada Muñoz and her even hotter cousin, Lulu Gutierrez, makes it possible to keep your look Facebook-fleek while spreading those top of the line buns: Chilly Yoga!

The luxurious studio, lined with mirrors for checking hair, and designed to only allow women under 120 lbs, is kept at a perfect 62 degrees. Ladies can bend, stretch, and tear their dangerously un-warmed up muscles without fear of mussing their perfectly ironed, shining locks or melting their La Prairie Skin Caviar faces.

Lack of sweat has always been a status symbol in the sub-tropics, and Chilly Yoga makes it possible to keep your social standing in place while still ostentatiously flaunting your healthful, zen lifestyle and flawless, totally real looking breast augmentation. Flush those toxins like movie heroines get cancer - by looking thin, languid and draped in a well-placed cashmere wrap, and, for a mere 5 dollar extra charge, a few drops of artisanal Love and Salt can be applied as you exit the studio, adding that perfect drop or two of sweet and salty exertion, designed to catch the light for your #blessed #yogalife instagram selfie.

Yoga never looked (or smelled) so good.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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