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Mayor Gimenez Proclaims His Office a Sanctuary-Office

Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Gimenez has reportedly taken refuge in his office the morning after a Federal Judge struck down President Trump's sanctuary city ban. The Plantain has learned that the Mayor has ordered his staff not to answer any phone calls from the public or the media and has declared his office a "sanctuary-office" that will provide him safe haven from criticism of his decision to comply with the now illegal Presidential directive.

In a statement, Mayor Gimenez insists that his decision to comply with Trump’s executive Order was merely an economic decision in the best interest of the County. When asked to clarify, the Mayor said that he just couldn’t risk the loss of federal funds to the County for non-compliance, nervously adding without provocation that his eagerness to get on Trump’s good side had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his son operates a fucking lobbying firm focused on influencing the Trump administration.

By Maikol Garro