The Plantain

Melania Trump's First Official Portrait Released by the White House

The White House has released the first official portrait of Melania Trump, published alongside a biography of the first lady and a list of her accomplishments.

Mrs Trump, 46, a former model, adopts an assertive stand - looking away from the camera while guarding a briefcase full of jewels in a private plane.

"She is so hot"said some old man later confirmed to be the President, later adding that the photograph is fantastic and that the Nation should be proud to have such an attractive First Lady living in New York at great taxpayer expense.