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Miami Lakes To Build Southern Border Wall, Vows To Make Hialeah Pay For It

The Miami Lakes town council approved a plan Tuesday night to build a wall along its southern border with watchtowers, electrified fencing, drones, and guard dogs–and they want Hialeah to pay for it.

Miami Lakes mayor Manny Cid, who previously sent an actual letter to then-President Barack Obama requesting "an independent zip code" from Hialeah, wrote in a controversial Miami Laker newspaper editorial that the existing moat and walled-off, six-lane Gratigny Parkway are insufficient to keep out "the loudmouths, cheapskates and terrible drivers of Hialeah."

"And some, I assume, are good people," the Mayor added, not really meaning it.

The proposed wall along Northwest 138th Street–or as its curiously referred to in Hialeah, West 84th Street–would allow only those with work permits to cross. Advocates associated with the Casavana restaurant in Miami Lakes extracted the work permit concession after threatening to cut council members off from purchasing Cuban coffee, croquetas and empanadas.

At the Beverly Hills Cafe in Miami Lakes, resident Rhonda Schmidt, 58, decried the influx of Hialeahans as she ate a chicken taco salad.

"Those people come over all the time to run amok and go to our restaurants on Main Street," Schmidt said. "That is OUR 'On The Border!' Get your own damn 'On the Border!'"

In Hialeah, demand for crossing into Miami Lakes has actually waned in recent years after the much-heralded opening of Olive Garden, LongHorn Steakhouse and other popular restaurants on West 49th Street.

"We don't need to go to Miami Lakes anymore to eat their super fancy food," said Hialeah resident Caridad Arcia, 32. "Now I can go to the Chili's at Westland Mall anytime I want."

By Manuel Del Fango IV

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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