Tuesday, February 21, 2017
 
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Trump To Renumber Bill of Rights: “Maybe First Amendment Shouldn’t Be First Anymore.”

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November 29, 2016
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Early this morning on Twitter, President-elect Donald Trump actually suggested U.S. Citizens who burn the American flag should face criminal prosecution or lose their citizenship:

The statements has caused many to fear that Americans are at risk of losing their civil liberties, including the right to criticize the government through symbolic gestures such as flag burning, under Comandante Trump’s presidency. “The First Amendment was put into our Constitution to protect the very type of criticism Donald Trump wishes to criminalize,” said some Jewish professor probably. “It’s is perhaps the most important protection we have in this Country. I mean, there is a reason why it’s first, after all!”

In response to his critics, Trump said he is looking into editing and renumbering the Bill of Rights, telling a group of petrified reporters “maybe the First Amendment shouldn’t be First anymore,” adding, "how do you like that, losers?" 

“Look, I’ve been taking a lot of unfair hits by the Media and have been subject to terrible and unfair insults about my great businesses, my computer genius son, my hands-- which are very very big, by the way, and my totalitarian tendencies, which are fantastic. These terrible things are being committed under the name of the First Amendment. Sad. Bad. Mad. Glad? No...Bad. Bad! So now I’m looking very bigly into making sure there are consequences for criticizing the President, something President Obama, who is a complete disaster and also very weak and also a Muslim, by the way, should have done a long time ago but didn't because he is, after all, a very weak Muslim.”

When asked specifically how he would change the Bill of Rights, Trump said that he thinks the Second Amendment should be moved up to become the new First Amendment and that he plans to delete the Eight Amendment’s prohibition against Cruel and Unusual Punishment, saying "sometimes you gotta be hard with bad folks." 

Trump also plans on amending the Third Amendment’s provisions against quartering troops so troops can now be quartered, but only in official Trump licensed hotels and at taxpayer expense. He also plans on getting rid of the Fourth Amendment’s prohibition on unreasonable searches of a person’s property, adding that if people don’t want their things searched they should just become President and have the secret service protect their home like he did.

As for the First Amendment, Trump says he is not willing to get rid of it completely. “The First Amendment, which will now be the Ninth Amendment, is important, but right now it goes too far.” When asked to clarify, Trump said though his new Free Speech clause will get rid of provisions guaranteeing freedom of speech (but normal Christians and probably Jews should still be okay) and assembly, and will be amended to prohibit dissenting speech against good, fair-minded leaders like Trump. "It will still allow plenty of other forms of speech," reassured Trump, "including cross burning, raising the Confederate flags, and wearing Swastikas.”

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