City of Miami Mayor Francis Suarez asked the City commission Monday to allow voters to decide in November whether to change Miami to a "strong mayor" form of government. The proposed Charter amendment would transform Mr. Suarez' position from one that is largely ceremonial to one of great power, a change he says the people of Miami want. "Plus it would really showoff my abs."
"Your abs?" asked Commissioner Keon Hardemon. "What does that have to do with what we are talking about?
"Bro," the Mayor said sternly to the Commissioner, whom although he sometimes disagrees is still his bro. "I am here to represent the Miami of the future. And what Miami really needs right now, no offense to Commissioner Carollo, who has gotten a little bit fat recently, is a mayor that is strong. And being strong includes having a strong core."
"What are you talking about?" responded Commissioner Carollo, who was pretty offended by the fat comment, but didn't want to focus any more attention on his weight, which he was a bit self conscious about, by bringing it up. "What makes you qualified to be the leader of our City?"
"Bro," the mayor said sternly to Commissioner Carollo, though he didn't really consider Joe his bro, but he was trying to be nice after the fat comment, which he knows probably stung. "The people elected me to be their leader, but they don't realize that I can't do anything for them because our form of government gives the mayor very little power. Plus, I can do like 30 burpees and over 15 pull ups," said the Mayor as he pointed to his oiled up abdomen. "So I will clearly be a very good strong mayor."
"I'm sorry, Mayor, do you actually believe that in order to be a "strong mayor" you need to actually be a physically "strong" mayor? Because that's not how this works...you know that, right?" interrupted Commissioner Ken Russel, who asked the clerk to note for the record that Francis Suarez's body, while impressive, was in his opinion far less impressive than David Beckham who showed off his body for the Commission last month.
"Um...bro (they are bros) are you serious?" said a stunned Francis Suarez as he signaled for an aid to bring him his shirt. "Guy's I'm sorry, this is the last time I take advice from Carlos Alvarez. Anyway, I still would like more power please."
A note from the editor regarding the punchline to the joke. Carlos Alvarez was the former Mayor of Miami who, after leaving the office in disgrace, became a semi-professional body builder.