“We are getting the hell out of the beach for Urban Beach Week!” reported Miami Beach couple Alex and Serena Cohen from their balcony at The Continuum, a decision which has nothing to do with all of the "urban" people coming to town, so don't even go there. “We just

Francesca Villalobos consumed an entire “tossed salad” without any salad dressing whatsoever during a lunch with her sister at Morton’s Steakhouse. The Plantain has learned that the 24-year-old woman, who works for a yacht company or something, ate the $18 pile of kale and 3-cherry tomatoes in front of

The Plantain has learned that Diane Horowitz has made big plans for her daughter-in-law Maya's uterus. "I can't wait to be a grandmother!" said Diane out of absolutely nowhere during her Mother's Day brunch. "Mom, quit it," said her son David, knowing this sort of thing really upset his wife.

Ongoing reports of mysterious illnessess at the Broward County Courthouse finally have an explanation, and courthouse staff are more terrified than ever. A 14-month Plantain investigation found that a top-secret U.S. Department of Justice program in the courthouse basement to turn kidnapped children into telepathic lie-detecting machines has been