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The Miami Herald Recommends Voting For an Alien Abductee, Drunk Commissioner, Woman That Lied About Going to MIT and David Richardson

The Plantain recommends The Miami Herald's drunken campaign recommendations. How could we not? Our local paper of record has recommended a group of oddballs so eccentric, embarrassing, and bizarre that it will provide fodder for The Plantain for years.

So, for those of you who don't have access to a Herald because you aren't in the waiting room of a Tire Kingdom or a Pinecrest nursing home, the Plantain reprints The Best-Of Miami Herald's actual recommendations for the upcoming August 28 election.

The Miami Herald ACTUALLY Recommends Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, a woman who has repeatedly claimed that she was ABDUCTED BY ALIENS as the Republican Candidate for Congress.

Look, I know its easy to make fun of people who think they were abducted by aliens, but that's just because it's insane. Absolutely, cookoo-bananas insane.

The fact that The Miami Herald can take Bettina's insane claim and then recommend to its elderly readers that they cast their ballot (which could be their last) for Bettina despite it, is an insult to the intelligence of its readers and the other Republican candidates running to represent District 27, all of whom are bizarre in some way, but none of whom claim to be actually be friends with aliens.

The Herald's recommendation is especially troubling considering the very existence of things like "facts" and "science" are being constantly doubted by Republican leaders. How can Miamians trust Betinna Rodriguez Aguilera to consider empirical evidence on crucial votes regarding issues like climate change when she goes on about that time she was visited by an alien over and over. Plus, how can a conservative vote for someone who supposedly encountered an alien but did not alert ICE?

The Miami Herald ACTUALLY Recommends Jose "Pepe" Diaz, a man who was caught on camera driving drunk and using his office to get out of being arrested as County Commissioner.

Just watch this video.

Now look at this mugshot:

That's who The Miami Herald recommends represent District 10 in the Miami Dade Commission. Jose "Pepe" Diaz's seeming attempt in the video to use his position to get out of trouble (the DUI charges were eventually dropped) are disturbing and does not reflect the caliber of candidate that we in Miami deserve.

Now Pepe is running against Rafael Pineyro and Patricio Moreno, neither of whom I know anything about because the Herald's half-assed recommendation did not tell me a thing about either except one was the former chief of staff to the Mayor of Doral and the other previously ran for Florida House. The Herald owes voters more attentiveness to these elections. Even in recommending Pepe the Herald does not mention any facts about his 16+ years as Commissioner OTHER than the fact that he was arrested.

Go home, Miami Herald. You're drunk!

The Miami Herald ACTUALLY Recommends Deede Weithorn, a woman who made up the fact that she went to MIT as State Representative.

Deede Weithorn got caught lying about the fact that she went to MIT. The Herald thinks she should represent Downtown and Miami Beach in the Florida House.

Does integrity matter to the Herald's editorial board? It couldn't possibly if they could recommend voters cast a ballot for a woman who for years claimed to be educated by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, only to back off of on those claims after someone called her out and she couldn't put forth one iota of proof.

Deede is running against Former Miami Beach Commissioner Michael Greico, who himself has been caught lying to the public over and over again, as well as Kubs Lalchandani, who has...been a stalwart progressive activist and business leader in the community. The Herald claims in its recommendation "Weithorn has the edge" on her opponents because she has apologized about lying about her credentials, but why not recommend the one candidate who isn't embroiled in a scandal involving an outright lie to the press? I get that that's a prerequisite for President, but State House too?

The Miami Herald ACTUALLY Recommends David Richardson, a...pretty good guy as Democratic Congressional Candidate who has a habit of wearing a very silly hat.

Okay, David Richardson is a pretty good guy...despite the fact that he can often be seen around town wearing this hat a little too often. Bald is beautiful, Dave. Let it shine.

I don't support him, we're mostly Matt Hags here, but the Herald's recommendation is valid and well reasoned. We sort of feel bad for Donna Shalala and her campaign, who genuinely can't figure out why voters aren't more excited for a 77-year-old Clinton disciple, but I still owe $70,000 to UM, so to hell with her.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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