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The Rock is Running For President and Satire is Dead.

The Rock is considering a run for President in 2020. That's true. Also, satire is dead now. It was good while it lasted, I wish I had made more money at it.

During last year's election I started writing an article titled "The Rock is Running for President" but never published it because I thought the joke was too easy and on the nose for the point I intended to make vis-a-vis Donald Trump: That everyone thinks they can be President now.

Now, everyone in the world actually thinks they can be President. So, why shouldn't the Rock run for President? Besides the fact that he has had absolutely no experience in running a government, which doesn't seem to be a requirement for running the federal government anymore anyway? It's because he will win! And we shouldn't be okay with that.

The guy is charming as hell and very handsome and has pecs for days. Of course people will vote for him. Hell, his charisma alone led the Fate and the Furious to make over a billion dollars! And don't try to tell me that its an ensemble cast. No one is going to those movies to see Ludacris.

Since this story broke late last night, the tone of the coverage, by real news media has been vapid amusement. The same sort of dismissive reaction everyone in the world had when now-PRESIDENT TRUMP announced his candidacy and held throughout election night when the world ended.

Look, I like the Rock. A lot. He went to UM and he says Jabroni, and he has great eyebrows, and he just seems like an all around great guy who is in no way qualified to be President of the United States.

There has to be a point where our reaction to the news that people like the Rock or Kanye West, or Donald Trump, or Marco Rubio want to run for President isn't giddy tabloid-esque interest, but abject horror at the thought of giving these wildly unqualified Jabronis that much power and influence.

Now, you may take a sort of nihilistic mentality that the Rock couldn't possibly be any worse than our current President, who, I should add, also dabbled in professional wrestling. But that's a low fucking bar for the leader of the free world.

You know who I want to be President? Someone who has experience running a government and who has spent a significant amount of time working on and thinking about issues that Presidents have to make decisions on that impact my life. You can't go from just never thinking about all of the things a President needs to think about to being President overnight. That's Too Fast, Too Furious. That's Donald Trump.

So lets ease it on the idea that the President can be anybody and that no government experience is somehow an attribute. It's not. The Rock playing the Tooth Fairy and Hercules does not mean he has insight into healthcare and the military. So, maybe the Rock should just slow his role and try to get some actual governing experience for a few years before we give say its okay for him to ask for the launch codes. Perhaps as Congressman The Rock.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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