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Trump Animatronic Ignores Tiffany Trump

By Ajinkya Dedge

The recently unveiled President Trump animatronic, aka Trumptron, at Orlando’s Disney World, ignored Tiffany Trump this week. Tiffany had flown to Orlando from an unknown location when these events transpired.

This rapid chain of events occurred when Tiffany went to meet the President's doppelganger with hope of connecting with at least a hollow (and preferable) reproduction of her father. Reports suggest that Trumptron did not notice Tiffany because he was rather busy trying to grab a litter of kittens for some unknown reason. Upon seeing her facsimile father-figure in a good mood and doing his favorite activity, Tiffany ran up to him to give him a hug. However, such foolishness cost her, and big.

The Secret Service assigned to guard Trumptron stopped Tiffany to detain her. It was later revealed that Tiffany was detained until she provided a Birth Certificate and performed the correct pronunciation of “hyuge” to prove she was a Trump. This detention, however, left her in tears according to sources.

“It was later revealed that Tiffany was detained until she provided a Birth Certificate.”

Furious after this commotion, Trumptron was later seen trying to make a deal with the ride operator at Epcot Norway, hoping to be introduced to Elsa. When our reporters on the scene asked about the issue, Trumptron replied, “[I] just wish [there was a way], you know, to fire ugly people. Only the beautiful and bigly [should stay?].”

President Trump, when asked about this incident, refused to acknowledge a second daughter saying that "after Hope left the only daughter I have is Ivanka." It never occurred to us to ask Tiffany for her comments.

Author Bio: Ajinkya Dedge is a staff writer for The Plantain. He is only here to complete our diversity quota.