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Trump Challenges Eminem to Rap Battle

In an incoherent rant in front of the White House press pool, President Donald Trump challenged rapper Eminem to a freestyle battle rap, which the President said wouldn't even be too hard. "I can rhyme. Time. Lime. Crime. Thyme with an 'h', like the herb or whatever," said the President.

The challenge comes a day after Eminem performed a pretaped cypher on the BET Awards, a show the President said was racist, by the way, in which he called Trump everything we all were already thinking.

The President has reportedly been practicing very hard for the upcoming battle, reportedly asking his speech writing staff to help him think of something that rhymes with "Kaepernic."

When asked what he thought of the President spending so much time feuding with the rapper instead of running the country, Eminem said he has just happy to do his part in distracting Trump from his power to start a nuclear war.

"That guy is a real piece of shit," said the rapper who got famous talking about beating his wife to death, a fact I guess we're just cool with.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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