Summer is here, and what better way to truly enjoy the blistering temperatures and terrible humidity than to walk a total of 8 miles while enjoying delicious, cold beers across the best watering holes west of the Florida Turnpike! The West Kendall Pub Crawl, known to locals as an average Thursday, is a sure-fire way to drink your weight in alcohol, while simultaneously sweating it all off. There are some people out there that prefer to Uber, or Lyft, from watering hole to watering hole, but where’s the fun in that? So let’s get to it:
Our first stop is located on Bird Road just west of 117th Ave, which is technically Westchester, but stop it with your bullshit “East-of-the-Turnpike” attitude and bear with us. Sports Grill offers absolutely delicious wings, mediocre food, and over-priced beers, making it one of the most popular spots on any given night. At Sports Grill you will want to enjoy some Dale Style wings with a pint or two of a high-alcohol IPA to really get the whole thing started, we recommend anything with more than 8% ABV.
Miller’s Kendall Ale House
From Sports Grill you will be walking, or crawling, down the beautiful 117th Ave for about 4 miles- make sure to truly take in the wonderful sights of perpetual Turnpike construction to the west - all the way down to Kendall Drive, where you will make a left and find yourself at the world-renown Miller’s Kendall Ale House. Miller’s Kendall Ale House is known for its unique local food and atmosphere, featuring both buffalo chicken ZingersTM and ice-cold Heineken, which is exactly what you should order once you are there. Make sure to upgrade your Heineken to a 23oz pint and, well, just go ahead and order two of those as well.
Duffy’s Sports Grill
By the time you leave Miller’s Kendall Ale House, you will have walked almost 4 miles and we got you covered, the next stop is only about a mile away. Duffy’s Sports Grill is the third stop in the West Kendall Pub Crawl. Located in the heart of West Kendall, Duffy’s Sports Grill is home to incredible 2-for-1 deals and terrible service, which is now becoming a staple of almost all restaurants and bars in West Kendall. At Duffy’s is where you really pick up steam. At this stop, you will not be ordering any food, as that would require you to be there for about two hours and we still got several miles to cover. Go ahead and order any 2-for-1 special that catches your attention (we recommend a nice hearty Bloody Mary to keep those electrolytes up) and get ready for the next stop.
The next stop is the most quintessential West Kendall spot on this pub crawl: Flanigan’s Seafood Bar & Grill, located just under a mile west of Duffy’s. Flanigan’s Seafood Bar & Grill, known for its lack of seafood options and great burgers, is without a doubt the most popular club in West Kendall. If you find yourself there on a Friday or Saturday night, you better be ready to party because there will be uncomfortably loud music, scantily dressed girls, and plenty of tables filled with families to get in the way of all the fun. At Flanigan’s, you will want to embrace the oddly Irish atmosphere and order a probably offensive Irish Car Bomb. Then you will want to follow that almost definitely offensive Irish Car Bomb with a refreshing pint of Joe’s Pale Ale (Flanigan’s house beer named after their founder) and a glass of water. You will want to be hydrated before heading out to the next and final spot, which is located 3 miles away.
Sports Grill aka Hammocks Grill
The final spot, just like the first stop, is Sports Grill, but this one is located in a labyrinth known as The Hammocks. This Sports Grill, also known as Hammocks Grill, is far inferior to the Sports Grill of the first stop, but we decided that you can’t experience West Kendall without truly understanding how bad it can get out there. Here you will want to avoid the food at all costs, it’s not worth it and you know you’ll end up at the Taco Bell just down the street at the end of the night anyway so just save your money. Since this is the last spot, you gotta go hard. We recommend you order 3 shots of any well liquor, your choice, just make sure it is as low quality as possible; this is to ensure you are s**t-faced enough to crash your friend’s little brother’s high school party, which is also conveniently located in The Hammocks.
Congratulations! If you have made it through all 5 spots you have completed the West Kendall Pub Crawl and burned over 1000 calories while walking 8 miles! If you decided to be a Debbie-downer and took an Uber or Lyft instead, congratulations as well! You have experienced an average weekday night in West Kendall. We hope you truly enjoy this pub crawl and that it shows you why you should never ever venture west of the Turnpike.
Written by: Juan Pendas