Oh NO! An acquaintance just said that the two of you should “hang out sometime” and you don’t know whether you really made plans or that was just something they just said but didn’t mean because they’re trash. Lucky for you, the Plantain has a simple-to-use set of rules for you to consult with to realize that you definitely didn’t just make plans so chill out.

1) If you have known them for more than 6 months but have never hung out before, you are never going to hang out.

2) If they post on Instagram stories more than twice a week, you are never going to hang out.

3) If the plans were made after running into them at a coffee shop, co-working space, or anywhere in Wynwood, you are never going to hang out.

4) If they appear wealthy but have no discernable job, maybe something in real estate or a vague consultancy practice, you are never going to hang out.

5) If they have children and you don’t, you are never going to hang out.

6) If they live more than 4 miles away from your house and neither of you is trying to get the other to hire the other, then you are never going to hang out.

7) If you met at an event sponsored by the Knight Foundation or at the event of an organization that has been sponsored by the Knight Foundation, you are never going to hang out.

8) If they a vegan and you aren’t, you are never going to hang out.

9) If they have more than 3,000 followers on Twitter, you are never going to hang out.

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