The Coronavirus is bad. Like really, really bad. But, in a time of social distancing and a worldwide panic about the spread of infectious disease, at least you can take solace in knowing you no longer have to give your friend’s creepy cousin a kiss on the cheek.
“This is bullshit, bro,” said your friend’s creepy cousin, Juan, as you stop him from leaning in. “For real? Bro, I’m so sick of people overreacting to the Coronavirus. It’s just flu,” said Juan before leaning in again to kiss your cheek. When you decline his advances again, he explains that he was “just being polite” before changing the subject to what high school you went to.
“Not leaving the house or being able to go to Ultra is hard, but at least I don’t have to kiss every greasy guy I meet on the cheek,” said esthetician Marielys Rosario after leaving a small, 40-person social distancing get together Juan’s cousin Yammy was having.
The Plantain spoke to Juan about how he feels about not being able to kiss Marielys’s kiss, to which the 27-year-old Belen alum said he understood the precaution but still thought Marielys was a total bitch for not kissing him.