Breaking news out of Venezuela: Hugo Chavez is still dead. 

Despite conflicting reports, the A.P. confirms that dictator Hugo Chavez is still dead, although he is feeling better and better each day. The news, which is still developing, has been confirmed by several independent sources who report that they have spoken to Hugo Chavez since his death and can confirm that he is, in fact, still dead. 

The Plantain attempted to ask Hugo Chavez about accusations set forth by Donald Trump’s lawyers today that he conspired to steal the election for Joe Biden, but has not been able to reach him for a statement on account of he’s dead.

More as this story develops.