Governor Ron DeSantis signed legislation this morning to consider relocating Florida’s capital from Tallahassee to President Trump’s Mar-A-Lago resort in West Palm Beach. The move is being hailed by Republican lawmakers as an innovative new revenue stream for Trump to exploit and has even found support among Democrats who would very much never like to go to Tallahassee again.

“While I strongly oppose giving more tax dollars to Trump’s resort, it would be nice not to spend so much time in Tallahassee which is really just about the worst place in the world,” said Democratic Senator Annette Taddeo, adding “You can’t get a decent meal in that entire place and everything closes at 6:00 PM.”

But not everyone is happy about relocating the capital. John McKintlock, the lone TSA agent at Tallahassee International Airport who said he will miss all of the lawmaker and lobbyist friends who he sees fly into the airport. The Plantain spoke to Matt D’Amore, a big sugar lobbyist who has seen John at least twice a week over the last 10 years about not being able to see his friend at the TIA anymore.

“Who? I’m just happy I don’t have to fly up to that shithole again. Mar-A-Lago has a great golf course,” he answered.

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