Speaking from his favorite Hooters, Governor Ron DeSantis signed an emergency order banning all hurricane shutters throughout South Florida until the end of hurricane season.
“Just leave your windows open! What’s the worst that could happen? Your stuff will get wet? So what?” said the Governor before flagging down a waitress and asking for some more ranch. “Things get wet all the time.”
The shutter ban comes amid increased storm activity in the Atlantic and during a time when experts warn a tropical storm is imminent.
“This is so irresponsible, doesn’t he realize people’s stuff will get wet if they don’t close their windows?” said Democratic Gubernatorial candidate Nikki Fried in three consecutive fundraising emails sent by her campaign back-to-back. “If you ask me, we need to start shuttering our windows regardless of the weather outside,” she said in her emails before asking for a $5.00 donation to fight back against Trumpism in Florida.