The City of Hialeah has taken down the City’s English-language website, and in the process, may have kicked off another fiery Spanish-only debate. 

Some scholars see the decision as a sign of the City’s “Hialeah First” message of protectionism, but worry it’ll be taken as an affront to the many English-speakers who occasionally get lost in Hialeah on the way to Dolphins Stadium. 

The City of Hialeah doesn’t have an official language. The City’s founders debated it, but the idea was abandoned because Hialeans speak so many different Spanish dialects that making Spanish the only official language would have been confusing to the various ethnic groups who don’t consider other various ethnic groups’ version of Spanish to be “real Spanish.” “Venezuelans don’t speak Spanish,” said Hialeah resident Arturo Canella in Spanish to his Venezuelan neighbor Cesar, to which Cesar just smiled because he had no idea what Arturo was trying to say.

For residents of Hialeah, the deletion of English content has been met with overwhelming support. “I see nothing wrong with the webpage being in Spanish,” Canella said. “Almost everything else in Hialean is in Spanish. I got the El Nuevo Herald street this morning in Spanish. I don’t ask them to give me a few pages in English.”

Editors Note: What you have just read are Alternative Facts of an accurately reported article from the Miami Herald

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