Known to the world only as “Luisa,” the fast food employee that courageously refused to take an order delivered in English at a Hialeah Taco Bell has found a job at a Cuban Guys restaurant. “No one that eats our food speaks English, so we think she’ll fit in fine,” said a representative of the restaurant through a translator.
The incident, which has sparked a nationwide debate over whether people should still be eating Taco Bell in 2018, has been the talk of the entire Hialeah community, most of whom reportedly “could literally care less” about whether a fast food restaurant employee speaks English. “This is Hialeah,” said the entire community over and over, “you have to speak Spanish if you expect to eat.”
“This is Hialeah” was adopted as the City’s official slogan/justification for everything in 2004.
One of the more troubling aspects of the Taco Bell video was the racial undertones present between Luisa and the African American couple attempting to order a Quesadilla (which would be considered a Spanish word outside of Hialeah). The Plantain asked literally every man in Hialeah age 14-21 (and also Frank Artiles) whether racism is pervasive within Hialeah, to which they all were adamant it was not before casually dropping the n-word and then immediately letting me know that it was cool because “This is Hialeah.”
Luisa’s first shift at Cuban Guys is this Friday, but she is trying to get it covered because this week has been too much. We asked Luisa through a translator whether she thought it was fair that she denied that couple a quesadilla, to which she noted that if they really wanted to order a quesadilla in English they should have gone to a Taco Bell in Pinecrest or something.
The Plantain reached out to Pinecrest Mayor Joseph Corradino who balked at Ms. Luisa’s suggestion, proudly stating that Pinecrest has been “Taco Bell” free since 2009. “The Taco Bell is technically in Palmetto Bay,” he noted boastfully.

PS: Hey. Did you read this far? You know it’s all fake, right? Cuban Guys (which we at the Plantain thinks is legit) probably didn’t hire that girl. But they should. Everyone needs to eat.
PPS: It is true that Frank Artiles used the N-Word and blame it on Hialeah, The City of Progress.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>