Life isn’t easy for North Park Elementary teacher Alice McGeary, affectionately known to her kindergarten students as “Ms. Alice.”

“I love being a teacher, but it’s so hard to survive on a teacher’s salary,” said Ms. Alice, who due to budget cuts often has to pay for school supplies such as chalk, crayons, and semi-automatic assault rifles for personal defense out of her own pocket.

“It adds up, you know,” said Ms. Alice as she showed off several handguns she purchased to strategically hide around her classroom in the event of a mass shooting. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel much safer having a gun in a room of 5-year-olds, but guns are expensive!”

The Florida Senate passed a bill this week to permit teachers to carry guns in their classroom, but without any provision for reimbursement of the guns. “While we applaud the Senate’s proactive approach to surrounding our children with guns, we must not forget that this type of legislation has put an increased burden on our teachers,” said a teachers union representative from Miami-Dade County.

Ultimately, teachers like Ms. Alice will carry the increased burden and do what is necessary to protect their students. “We do what we have to do. If that means I buy the guns for my classroom, then that’s what I’ll do.” When asked whether she felt comfortable wielding a gun during an armed attack, the 24-year old Ms. Alice admitted that she didn’t and began to cry. “Of course not! My last job was at a Jamba Juice, I literally am scared to death.”

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