Lebron James has informed an inner circle of friends and representatives that he has decided to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers to join the 1997 World Champion Chicago Bulls.”Lebron has always been a fan of Chicago and believes he can really thrive under Phil Jackson’s triangle offense,” said a source unfamiliar with the situation. “Plus, he thinks the mid 90’s will be a great time to raise his family.”
Lebron will reportedly announce his decision on an August 1996 rerun of the Oprah Winfrey show featuring Sinbad and travel tips from Dave Barry.
The 97′ Bulls are widely recognized as one of the most dominant NBA teams of all times, and featured notable players Toni Kukoc, Luc Longley, and U.S. Ambassador to North Korea Dennis Rodman.
The decision to join the Bulls comes days after James’ Cavilers were defeated in the NBA Finals by the Golden State Warriors, a team coached by Steve Kerr, a member of the 97 Bulls.
Coach Kerr praised Lebron’s decision to join his former team, noting that he was looking forward to facing himself in the finals next year and excited that he would be getting a championship ring either way.
The Plantain asked Nobel Prize Winning Physicist Dr. Harry Buttowski whether Kerr’s assessment was correct, to which the Dr. noted that Lebron’s decision to join the 97 Bulls would actually create a time paradox and alternative timeline in which Lebron would likely retire from basketball in 2007, effectively erasing his career up to date in the present timeline, including his championships with the Heat and Cavilers, making his current decision to join the 97 Bulls impossible, therefore making it possible for his career up to date to occur, meaning he then could join the 1997 Bulls, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. “It’s some trippy shit,” noted Dr. Buttowski.
When asked how he plans to deal with the paradox his decision would create, Lebron said “Look there are risks with every decision, but I think this one feels right.”

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