The Miami Dolphins picked up offensive tackle Laremy Tunsil with the 13th pick in the 2016 draft. The Ole Miss standout was supposed be a top-three draft choice, but he had gotten “a bit too high” shortly before the draft and didn’t make it to the ceremony until a dozen other teams had already made their selections. When Mr. Tunsil finally arrived to the draft clutching a half-full Arby’s bag of French fries, the Dolphins pounced.
In a press conference following his selection, a blurry-eyed Tunsil told reporters that he was “stoked” to move to Miami and looked forward to serving many four-game drug suspensions as a Dolphin. He said he was also excited to work with new coach Adam Gase and quarterback Ryan Tannehill, and whoever their replacements would be next year.
Plantain reporters asked Mr. Tunsil to comment on a leaked video of him smoking marijuana from a gas-mask bong, but a giggly Mr. Tunsil ignored the questions, choosing instead to leave the press conference early to watch a few episodes of Family Guy with his mentor Ricky Williams.
Reached for comment about his relationship with Mr. Tunsil, Ricky Williams started talking about how his mentee would be a great pro player, but then got distracted by his own scattered thoughts. The former Pro Bowl MVP then asked this reporter if I wanted to “go to Chipotle,” and started singing Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds.
“Don’t worry, about a thing. Cause every little thing is gonna be alright…at Chipotle “, sang Mr. Williams with glee.