When 27-year-old Miami native Delia Fernandez was arrested earlier this year for twerking on top of a car as it drove down the 836, she felt her rights were violated. “You can’t do this to me, I have rights!” screamed a scantily clad Ms. Fernandez as she was handcuffed by Miami-Dade Police in a now-infamous viral video of the incident recorded by the arresting officers that they immediately posted online.

“You don’t have a right to twerk on a moving vehicle” said one of the police officers before roughing her up a little just for fun.

At Ms. Fernandez’s court appearance on one count of disorderly conduct, the Miami-Dade College alum argued her arrest violated the First Amendment and her “right to disseminate an erotic message by twerking on a car in traffic.”

“Are you suggesting that the Founders intended for the First Amendment to protect drunken women from shaking their asses while driving on a freeway?” asked Judge Beatrice Baker, herself a former Miami-Dade alum who was known to get down in her day.

“The right to twerk on top of a car was one of the primary concerns of the Founders,” said Ms. Fernandez’s lawyer. “It’s frankly why we fought the Revolution.”

In an Order issued at the hearing, Judge Baker found that the First Amendment protected twerking on a moving vehicle and prohibited Miami-Dade from enforcing its restrictions on shaking that ass while driving, reasoning:

“It is clear, under the Supreme Court’s Barnes v. Glen Theater precedent, that erotic dancing is protected under the First Amendment and the Court finds the government has not demonstrated that its prohibition against popping one’s pussy from the hood of an Acura while it drives down the Dolphin Expressway” meets the Time, Place, and Manner standard as outlined in Ward v. Rock Against Racism. Accordingly, this Court enters an injunction prohibiting Miami from stopping any other cars with a ratchet women hanging off the hood twerking in traffic.”

“This is a great victory and I feel, like, super vindicated,” Ms. Fernandez told The Plantain as she exited the Courtroom. She then mounted the hood of her boyfriend’s Mazda and started clapping her ass, just as the Constitution intended.