Miami has seen its fair share of escape room themes come and go, but nothing screams “there’s no way out” like your boss’s’ niece’s quinceanera.

“That escape room where you have to flee Germany in World War 2 was a walk in the park compared to this,” said escape room enthusiast and local historian Gary Russell. This escape room will pair you with coworkers and place the entire group in the center of your manager’s sister’s daughter’s quinceanera, which you were invited to for some reason. The hope is that your coworkers will be more urgent in the escape room than they are with emails labeled “urgent”.

Once inside, the quinceanera does show some similarities to popular escape rooms such as an eerie layer of fog. However, unlike the fog machines used in typical escape rooms, this one’s comes from Uncle Jorge’s nicotine addiction and unwillingness to comply with the 2003 Clean Indoor Air Act.

In order for the group to fully escape the boss’s niece’s quinceanera a number of puzzles and riddles must be solved. Some of the more difficult riddles include “Was it okay to park at the Dennys across the street?” and “Why does the boss’s wife look different from the woman he’s always going to lunch with?“

“We found the most difficult riddle to be figuring out whether the niece’s name was Jessica or Jennifer.” said self-proclaimed group leader Daniel Armwood. “We later found out her name was Estefania. I think we got the name Jessica from that woman our boss is always taking out to lunch.”

The only person to successfully beat the escape room’s challenge of leaving before the DJ played “Bailando” for a third time was Sherry Harper from HR. “Sherry’s desk was cleared out the following Monday,” said an anonymous former coworker of Sherry.

The quinceanera escape room is already in such high demand there will be two similar themed locations opening. These escape rooms will have themes of “Your Brother’s Step Daughter’s Sweet Sixteen” and “Your Bosses’ Niece’s Sister’s Quinceanera”.

By Kyle Rambo

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