Historical preservationists rejoice! The scaffolding surrounding downtown Miami’s Olympia Theater has been granted historical status, meaning the metal fitted wooden guards around the theater will remain there permanently!
“The scaffolding has been a fixture of the theater’s exterior design since 2008 and has become a beloved feature of Miami’s innovative Flagler business and technology district,” said that wheelchaired homeless man who hangs around downtown dressed as a king.
“This is great news,” said a spokesperson of the City Miami’s Downtown Development District. “The scaffolding is not only a beautiful reflection of late-aughts temporary design architecture but also serves a practical purpose of catching most of the exterior bricks from falling onto pedestrians from the derelict building.”
When asked why the City doesn’t just fully pay for the building to be fixed, the DDA representative smiled, looked around, and quickly changed the subject to next year’s Superbowl.
“We’re turning downtown into a Superbowl village, which we think everyone going to the game hosted an hour away from downtown will really enjoy. It’s literally going to be better than 10 Superbowls.”