Prison Boy Band Looking For New Management

Prison Boy Band Looking For New Management

Assault and Pepper Spray, a band comprised entirely of current Florida prison inmates, is currently seeking new management after the sudden and unexpected death of their manager Lou Pearlman.

The band, known for their smooth harmonies about sexual assault (also the name of their second album), gained a modest amount of notoriety after cover of Inner Circle’s Sweat appeared in the trailer for Nate Parker’s upcoming Birth of a Nation film, had been managed by Mr. Pearlman since he was sentenced to decades in prison for running a multi-million dollar ponzi scheme. The convicted felon and former manager of Nsync and The Backstreet Boys was only 63.

“It comes as such a shock to us,” said David M. Ersterwalden (Prisoner No. 332020), also known as Firestarter, because he likes setting fire to things. “Mr. Pearlman was such a gracious man. Every night we would lay down in my bunk and reassure me that everything was going to be alright, and that I was a star, and definitely more talented and a better kisser than Ashley Angel from O-Town. I’m going to miss him.”

Mr. Ersterwalden says his band is seeking new representation. “We have a lot of raw talent, we just need a little direction.”