At a press conference on Thursday, Miami’s “LED Dancer”, who has gyrated her hips above the InterContinental Hotel since 2012, announced her retirement.
The completely digital creation, named “Laura E. Diaz” by her programmer, lover, and the hotel’s I.T. director Darren Scott, suffered a spinal injury Memorial Day weekend after falling from the InterContinental Hotel’s 35 floor LED wall during a ten hour shift of digital gyrations. Eye-witnesses report that the dancing image laid motionless for several minutes before being resuscitated by a visibly distraught Mr. Scott. The cause of her fall is believed to be a programming error.
Although her injuries are not life threatening, Ms. Diaz can no longer perform due to mobility issues preventing her from moving her neck, back, as well as other more intimate body parts.
“It’s a tragedy,” said an emotional Mr. Scott. “I blame myself.”
In a press-conference, the coded series of thousands of LED lights said that she has decided to dedicate her post-dancing future to helping domestic violence victims and will begin taking online social work classes through Miami-Dade College in the fall.
In a statement, the Hotel thanked Ms. Diaz for her service to the community and wished her success in the future. The hotel, who has since parted ways with Mr. Scott, is looking for a new I.T. director to create a replacement dancer.
When asked by the Plantain why he left his former job with the InterContinental, Mr. Scott said that he could no longer ethically create another dancing vision for Miami’s skyline.
“I’ve seen the dangers of playing god,” said Mr. Scott. “I won’t do it again.”