In a landmark 5-3 decision, the United States Supreme Court struck down a series of medically unnecessary regulations enacted by the State of Texas designed to limit access to abortion clinics. The opinion, which held regulations such as requiring doctors working in Texas abortion clinics to have hospital admitting privileges constituted an unconstitutional barrier to a woman’s ability to exercise her right to an abortion, represents a tremendous step forward for women wishing to have autonomous control over their body, and a tremendous step backward for Dave Williamson, a 31-year-old file clerk at Ernst and Young, who had planned to spend the entire day talking to co-workers about last night’s episode of Game of Thrones.
“The Court should have held the opinion for another day,” said Mr. Williamson who after watching last night’s season finale episode spent several hours reading Game of Thrones message boards to prepare himself for what he believed would be the main topic of conversation on Monday morning. “I get to the office ready to talk about the long-awaited confirmation that Jon Snow is indeed Lyanna Stark’s son and the geo-political ramifications of the alliance between House Tyrell and the Sand Snakes of Dorne, but before I knew it people are asking me about my thoughts on the Supreme Court’s abortion decision. I keep telling people that the only case I want to talk about is that of Ser Lorras before the High Sparrow and the Seven!”
“Oh, I hate that guy,” said Mr. Williamson’s co-worker Jessica Bustamante. “Every Monday all he wants to do is talk about Game of Thrones all day. I mean, the show is good, but there are other things.”
When asked to respond, Mr. Williams scoffed and just said “Jessica can be a bitch sometimes,” recalling the numerous times she politely declined his invitations to have her over to watch the first few episodes of “Firefly,” which he believes will totally change her life. “I’m such a nice guy,” said Mr. Williamson, “there is no reason for her to keep rejecting my persistent advances.”
“It just isn’t fair,” said Mr. Williams of the timing of today’s Supreme Court decision. When pressed for his opinion on the outcome of the case, Mr. Williams said even though he is frustrated with the Court for overshadowing last night’s episode, he is very happy with its decision. “Only Ramsey Bolton or Walder Frey would be so cold-hearted as to disagree with today’s decision. And we’ve all seen what happened to them!”