Suck it, haters! The Plantain has been ACQUIRED by mother-fuckin McClatchy and will be joining the Miami Herald family!

When we started the Plantain in 2016 we had the goal of making lots of money by providing Miamians with daily reminders that Joe Carollo beat his wife in front of his daughter. We were unsure whether that was a sustainable business model and for a while were worried we would never turn a profit. We never did turn a profit, but that doesn’t matter now because WE HAVE BEEN ACQUIRED!

On March 1st The Plantain will be turned over to McClatchy and I will be getting $3,000,000 in highly valuable McClatchy stock! How do you like them apples, The New Tropic?

So long suckers!


UPDATE: I’ve just been informed that McClatchy has filed for bankruptcy and that I will remain poor for the time being. Sorry for telling all of you haters to suck it and my sincere apologies to my friends at The New Tropic.

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