In keeping with Thanksgiving tradition, President Donald J. Trump has issued a ceremonial pardon to a turkey named Butterball, as well as son-in-law Jared Kushner.”I told him, ‘Jared, I’ll pardon you, but if I’m going to do it you need to dress up in a little turkey outfit,” said the President to reporters. “I’m allowed to pardon any turkey I want on Thanksgiving, you know, so I’m not doing anything wrong. Obama pardoned a lot of turkeys too, you know, and that was fine, that was fine, so I’m just doing the same thing by pardoning turkey Jared Kushner, who didn’t even need to be pardoned technically, you know, because he didn’t do anything wrong and also the whole Russia nonsense is fake news, but that’s alright. I pardoned Jared, and as soon as he gets the turkey suit dry cleaned I’m gonna pardon Don Jr, who also, by the way, did nothing wrong.”
Joe Biden gave what many are describing as a remorseful slap on the ass to Jennifer Steinmanson, a staff member who has publicly accused the former Vice President of inappropriately touching her. The “love tap”, as Mr. Biden called it, occurred at a private meeting arranged for Mr. Biden to
An unusually contrite Jeff Sessions, Attorney General of the United States, held a press conference this Tuesday to discuss revelations he experienced after accidentally ingesting a pot brownie. The attorney general assumed he was stealing a snack from his intern's desk, totally unaware that the treat contained THC.
(CARACAS, Venezuela) — Venezuela’s Supreme Court on Wednesday ordered the arrest of 6 prominent opposition leaders in connection with an alleged assassination attempt against President Nicolas MaDuro.No, not in regards to the obviously bogus “drone attack” that occurred last week, but this time because of a sole Magnificent Frigatebird